It's like looking at a cell culture under a microscope...

i now have red hair. for the first time ever. and a new haircut.

i'll try to post pics at a later date.

The Best Within You

 

"In the name of the best within you, do not sacrifice this world to those who are at its worst. In the name of the values that keep you alive, do not let your vision of man be distorted by the ugly, the cowardly, the mindless in those who have never achieved his title.

 

Do not lose your knowledge that man's proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind and a step that travels unlimited roads. Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.

 

Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it's yours."

 

- Ayn Rand

  From "Atlas Shrugged"

the dog that i've had since i was eight has cancer and only about 3 months to live.

i don't know what to do with myself.

WE HAVE INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

maybe now i can get back to semi-more-than-once-a-month-or-even-two-months posting. also means i can maybe get back into some shows and some slash! woohoo!

sad thing is i don't even have a clue as to where to start, on either front.

*sigh*

slash. so i took my mom to see beauty and the beast at texrep last night. and michael cooper played cogsworth and chris poulson played lumiere. if you don't know why this is amusing to me, i will tell you: michael and chris are partners in real life which of course makes my slashtastic little brain go crazy!

so here's what i think dtkokoro should do for me. she should write me some cogsworth/lumiere slash. and i want them to fall in love post-enchantment. there must be enchanted sex going on (i know it'll be hard (heh) but you can do it). then they transform and are human again. oh noes! what ever shall they do? they have to stay together, of course! i need my happy ending! i know it'll be controversial, but their love is stronger than that!

this is a challenge dtkokoro i know you can do it. use your mad slasher/creative writing skillz!

that title proves how much time i spend with craig. not that that's a bad thing. i practically live in his apartment now. i feel kind of bad about it though, cause i'm not helping with the rent and stuff. i bought groceries so that makes me feel better about it.

i've been working for my personnel service for the last couple of weeks. i'm only working wednesdays and fridays, and it's only from 9-1 or so, but it's better than nothing.

school is school. same as always. i wish i didn't have to go to college to get a really good job. i want to be a nurse and everything but i'm really tired of school. i've been going to school since is was 3 or 4...i'm less than a month away from being 20...16-17 years in school. that's a lot of school. and i know that lots of people go to school for longer amounts of time but i'm really tired of it. oh well. c'est la vie.

i'm not on the compy much right now. especially not the internet cause craig doesn't have it and my desktop is out of order. at least my laptop is working...ish. i saved a bunch of slash to it so i have stuff to read at least. and i got some of my tv shows, movies, and ...porn...of course.

and dude! i played god of war today! and i didn't do badly! and i only died twice! and and and i was proud of myself...and i had fun! i rock!

well, i think that's all for now.
peace

so i'm finally back from my week of no internet. dun dun duuuuuh! it's been rough with no access to the world at large while i was in creasant, oklahoma.

we had fun though. and i'm really glad i got to meet his family. i don't think he realizes how much that means to me. the fact that he wants me to know his family fills my heart with joy. plus, we spent more than a week together...and we didn't get tired of each other. if anything, it makes me want to spend more time with him than i do now. i felt weird this morning waking up without him being next to me.

this week is going to be super busy. craig moves into his new apartment tomorrow. so i'm working at express from 8 to 11 tomorrow morning, then i have film from 12 to 3:30ish (cause the movie we're watching tomorrow is 3 hours so the class is running over), and then i'm helping craig move. i have 1 test on tuesday and 2 on thursday. blegh.

i'm going to try to write at least 2 essays for film this evening and work on, if not finish, my "nell" project fro psych. and then i'll hopefully be able to go help craig with the packing. i'm also doing laundry. but i'm almost done with that! hooray!

okay...must work now.

peace.

i fell asleep last night at craig's. during this sleep i had several dreams. in one of these dreams...i bleached seth green's hair with a turnip. i think that really all i need to say about that.

still looking for a contract killer.  i want her dead.

so...i got a speeding ticket. it sucks. i was going 53 in a 40. i'm gonna have to sell a lot of plasma to pay for that. 

i think i did well on my A&P exam. it wasn't too hard. i even studied last night! i know you are probably shocked at that one, but it's true. hell, i studied despite being at craig's! he was playing video games though, so i'm sure he didn't even notice. 

no one in my psychology class know who david hewlett is. this made me very sad. he was one of the three men that i put on my sexiest list. it was: david hewlett, william petersen, and jon stewart. if i had had more spaces johnny depp and a few others would have been included. plus, i decided to only include men that are living so that i didn't have to decide between all the head guys that were sexy as hell in their prime. 

i think i'm going to go take a nap now. 

peace.

so i had some really fucked up dreams last night. none of which i really remember (and if i do they aren't to be mentioned here). all i know is that there was more than one and they may or may not have been connected. 

little rock was fun. pan's labyrinth was beyond amazing. it rained a lot. i slept a lot. i got broadway music cause we went to a barnes & noble. 

i also went to see smokin' aces (which i ended up seeing twice) and epic movie (it could have been so much worse). 

i have tomorrow off *happy dance* but i do have to go take a test for pharmacology *less enthusiastic sort of happy dance*

i played viva pinata for 3 hours tonight. it was fun. now craig is playing quake 2. i tried to play quake 4 but only lasted about 5 minutes (most of that being b/c i was going in circles). 

that's all for now. goodnight.

i really really wanna see it. it looks so fucking amazing. dtkokorosaw it and said it was amazing. i might get to go see it this weekend though so that will be good. 

i would also really like some taco bell. i haven't had any in like a week. how sad is that? stupid brokeness. *kicks empty wallet*

some of the thread on my pants is coming off. and i'm typing so that i won't sit here and pick at it. it' not like the thread is actually doing anything useful. it's purely decoration. so it won't really matter if i pick it all out. 

i'm not sure but i think dtkokoro called me this morning. but my phone was pluggd into it's charger and instead of unplugging it at the phone, i just pulled the charger out of the wall. and when i woke up my phone was open and lying beside me in bed. i hope it was dtkokoro if it wasn't, i'm sorry to whoever it was. 

that's all for now. 
peace.

it is cold...and wet...but i like the cold. it's so much better than hot, which is what we have most of the time. 

i'm sitting here at craig's computer going through my flist. he won't let me read slash on his computer so i'm just looking. which is sad b/c there are some fics i actually want to read. and i haven't been in the mood to read slash lately, which is kind of sad. dtkokoro says that she just went through this stage so apparently she gave it to me while she was here. c'est la vie. i have a lot of tabs open too. sad thing is, most of them probably won't get read.

school started back this week. this semester is going to be pretty easy. i'm only taking 12 hours: psychology, film appriciation, anatomy & physiology II w/ lab, and pharmacology. A&P should be the only class that gives me any problems. there i going to be an observation project in psych but it won't be so bad. there are some nice people in the class so finding a good partner for it shouldn't be hard. as long as i don't get stuck with one of the annoyig bitches that sit behind me. there would be much blood shed if that were the case. 

we are going to get pizza so this post must now end. 
peace

is it bad that i've been listening to "u + ur hand" by pink and "irreplaceable" by beyonce back and forth for the last week or so? i can't get those two out of my head. grrrrr. bad thing about it is that i can't sing along.

do you know why i can't sing along? b/c i lost my fucking voice...sort of. i can still speak, it's just...squeaky. craig, craig's mom, lizzy, wes, kalyn, danielle, and allison all think it's rather amusing. don't get me wrong, i know i sound pretty damn funny. i just want to be able to sing again. :( i like to sing. i like to sing in my car, in the shower, while i bake, and pretty much any other time of the day that i feel the urge to belt one out. i don't even care that i'm not a good singer. my mom and i baked bread and cookies and stuff all day and listened to broadway music the whole time. and could i sing during my favorite songs? NO!  c'est la vie. ::sigh::

on the upside...Christmas is only a few days away. in fact tomorrow is christmas eve! hooray! i love christmas. it's my favorite holiday! despite the horrible traffic and crazy last-minute shoppers. christmas is all about family for me and if you know me you know that family is extremely important to me. so yeah. i'm excited about monday!

night all.

except...not. i don't really have much to say but i thought i should continue my recent trend of updating on a regular basis. it really is a good way to get everything out.

i'm pretty much falling asleep while i'm writing this. it's been a long day. craig just left and it's 4 in the morning. we watched "see no evil" which was kind of bad. it's a horror/gore flick staring kane of the WWE. some wrestlers just shouldn't make movies...like all of them.

i'm passing out now...goodnight.

it's nights like these that make me feel really pathetic. *sigh*

guess where i'm going to be tomorrow!!!!!

that's right!

with my fianceedtkokoro in flower mound, motherfuckers!

<3<3<3<3<3<3

i've had two friends post this so i figured i'd jump off the ciff too.

(2 Points) My name:
(1 Point) My last name:
(5 Points) Take a stab at my middle name:
(3 Points) Who was my first celeb-crush:
(2 Points) Do I have any children:
(2 Points) How old are they:
(2 Points) What work do I do:
(3 Points) What am I afraid of:
(2 Points) Do I smoke:
(3 Points) Do I drink:
(2 Points) Do I have any siblings:
(2 Points) How many:
(1 Point) Do I like 'em:
(4 Points) What's one of my favorite things to do:
(2 Points) How many tattoos do I have:
(3 Points) What's my favorite type of music:
(2 Points) What's my favorite TV show:
(2 Points) Who is my favorite band/artist:
(4 Points) Am I shy or outgoing:
(3 Points) Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:
(2 Points) What’s my favourite colour:
(3 Points) Name something I hate:
(4 Points) Name a talent I have:
(4 Points) What kind of shoes do I wear:
(4 Points) Do I have any pets:
(2 Points) Who am I dating right now:
(5 Points) What do I study in university:
(5 Points) What is the colour of my room:
(5 Points) What is my worst habit:
(5 Points on creativeness) If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring:

80-85 Points — Stalker Extraordinaire!
70-79 Points — Hard-Working Stalker
40-69 Points — Decent Stalker
20-39 Points — Stalker-In-Training
00-19 Points — Crappy Stalker or New Stalker

hmmm. i'm having this wash of depression at the moment. hasn't been like that all day. it just hit me. i mean, i had a good day. i got some shit done. hung out with lirpa and danielle. hung out with craig and went to see BORAT! which was hilarious and everyone should go see it.

then i get home an hour and a half ago, get on my computer, log on to myspace, look at one person's page and BOOM! saddness. wtf?!? maybe i'm just being a stupid girl. *sigh*

maybe sleep will help. and a good day tomorrow is bound to brighten my spirits!